Friday, March 28, 2008

Movie quote Meme.

I've decided that I'm going to steal my friend James' meme, which he took from Paul Clark. Paul's list was really hard, James' was slightly easier, mine will probably be a cake walk for just about anyone.

Here's da rules.

1. Pick 10 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess (use the comments, if you please).
4. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and post the answer along with who guessed it.
5. No Googling or using IMDb search functions. You're on your honor.
6. One movie guess at a time. Give people a chance to guess before you steal all of the glory

1) What kind of place is this? It's beautiful: Pigeons fly, women fall from the sky! I'm moving here! I think Paul C. is the only one still playing, but he recognized this quote as coming from what is possibly my favorite movie out there "Life is Beautiful." As he pointed out, this one is tough because the movie is in Italian with subtitles, so you don't actually hear what the characters say.

2)You Samoans are all the same. You have no faith in the essential decency of the white man's culture. Alex Power recognized this quote from 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Raoul Duke (Jonny Depp) often calls Dr. Gonzo (Benicio Del Toro) a samoan, however, his country of origin is never revealed for certain.

3)Well that's just great. Either I have a monster in my kitchen or I'm completely crazy. Bonnie got this one just as I expected her to. It's from Dana Barret (Sigourney Weaver) in the first Ghostbusters. Spoken to Venkman (Bill Murray) as he checks out her apartment.

4)Yes, you can help me... Forget you ever knew me, and never come back here again. I never thought that this one would get people. It's from Gladiator, Maximus Desmus Meridius (Russel Crow) to be specific. I picked a quote that was a little bit obscure, but with esoteric titles like 5 and 6 I thought for sure this one would be snapped up before the rest.

5)The day I make someone sane, they're in trouble! Even though he claims to have never seen it, Paul C. got the hint and guessed "What the @#%# do we know?"

6)I'm not saying that you don't know what you're talking about, but I don't know what you're talking about. Paul C. got another one that I expected to be tough by identifying this quote from a pinball player in "Waking Life." He says it's one of his favorites and I agree. Also a good date movie assuming the girl (or guy) you're with isn't an airhead.

7)I've always been considered an asshole for about as long as I can remember. That's just my style. Paul C. knows that this line came from the titular character Royal Tenenbaum (Gene Hackman). He even knew the line that follows it (see the comments). Well done Paul.

8)There is a time for daring and a time for caution, and a wise man knows which is called for. From Dead Poet's society, from the mouth of John Keating (Robin Williams).

9)I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiener". James nailed this quote. It's kind of a gimme for him since he used the same movie in his version of this game. The line is from a very fast speech by Edgar Friendly (Denis Leary) in Demolition Man.

10)We are now up against live, hostile targets. So, if Little Red Riding Hood should show up with a bazooka and a bad attitude, I expect you to chin the bitch. This one was from a relatively minor 2002 release called "Dog Soldiers" featuring a bunch of brits noone had heard from before or since. There were a number of really hilarious lines, but I really liked this one.

There's only one or two of these that I expect will be a bit tough to place. Have at it folks (all two of you), post answers in the comments section.

That's four down with six to go, I expect 1, 10 and perhap 6 to be the tough ones. A new post will be going up this week on the subject of underage drinking once I've found a way to make it a little bit more funny.

I suppose it's about time to offer some hints on the quotes that are left.

#4 is a movie that won five oscars and had some really kicking fight scenes.
#5 is a science type movie with a bleeped out word in the title
#6 is said by a character who is a teacher
#10 is from a movie that involves werewolves which caught some flak for not using CGI in its special effects

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Keeping the 'big issue' trend alive I go after Global Warming

Here we are in late March and outside my window snow is drifting down to lay in heavy piles.

A week ago I heard the local meteorologist describe the conditions outside as an “unrelenting winter.”

Even the groundhog went along with it and predicted six extra weeks of cold and white.

While the words “global warming” are on the lips of every politician and half of all environmental scientists, why is it that it’s taking so long here?

After a recent column I wrote espousing the tentative nature of arguments for and against gun control, I received a letter which asked about my take on other big issues such as global warming and ethanol.

I’ll leave ethanol for another time, as global warming is something that is on my mind right now in light of the cooling I continue to see outside.

That having been said, I don’t think that any snowstorm or hard winter is evidence which contradicts global warming theories.

Anecdotal evidence about how hard a winter has been is a local focus, while global warming is on a planet wide scale.

I’ve reviewed a lot of published work on the warming of the globe, but I have yet to find anything that has convinced me that the world is in a crisis.

About four years ago while I was studying at the University of Minnesota-Minneapolis I took a course in geology to satisfy a science requirement.

The professor was a wise old man with a thick Indian accent and if you could learn to hear what he was saying he was a wellspring of information.

What it boils down to, in the end, is learning to think on a geological time scale.

First and foremost your have to understand that the earth is about 4.6 billion years old. I don’t have to tell you that that’s a lot. Now, life on earth didn’t start until circa 3.5 or 2.8 billion years ago.

Our early human ancestor’s Homo Erectus don’t show up on the timeline until 1.6 million years ago.

To put all of this in perspective, if the timeline of earth were the Empire State Building, human development and civilization would be a postage stamp at the top of the spire.

So that’s a lot of time and changes to this big ball of rock to make it to the point that we are at today. In all of that time two simple things have been happening.

The climate has been changing all the time. It periodically goes up and then back down. The reasons for this are subtle and complex, and best left to scientists with a solid background in ancient egyptian algebra.

The second thing that has been happening is that species have evolved to survive in one kind of world, only to have it change around them. They either die out or adapt to the new conditions.

Climate change obviously plays a large part in the roll of species survival. One of the competing theories for the great mystery of what killed all the dinosaurs is that massive climate change (cooling in this case) made the earth uninhabitable to giant lizards.

What I’m trying to say is that I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that the climate of the earth is changing. There is good evidence to suggest that the earth is in the midst of a warming period.

I am much more skeptical of the connection drawn between the actions of mankind and global climate change.

Yes, the earth is warming, is that so bad?

There are two things that might happen. First, the trend reverses and scientists are suddenly scrambling for preventative measures to prevent global cooling. Second, it continues and there is a massive species die-off which wipes out all or most of the human race.

You’ll notice that even the second option didn’t involve the destruction of the planet. That’s because earth is more resilient than we sometimes give her credit for.

Whatever happens to us as a species, the world will go on turning until cockroaches achieve sentience, at which point global climate change will be debated by the new insect lords of earth.

More likely, a lot of people will someday die many will migrate toward the poles, Florida and Arizona will no longer be choice retirement destinations and the Canadian economy will boom.

There are a lot, possibly too many, people out there who want to tell you that “green” living is the way to save the planet.

If we only drove 20 fewer miles per day or washed our clothes with chlorine free detergent or bought only organic food then the warming trend is supposed to magically reverse itself.

Now, some of the “green” initiatives may have value, but I don’t think that they’re about to solve global warming one SUV at a time.

Burning less fossil fuels for example makes perfect sense, the pollutants that are put out by cars impact the environment in ways that can be directly seen. How many people remember what a fiasco leaded gas cause years ago?

Things like using less water or gas or almost anything are not only good for the environment, but for our wallets. Who doesn’t want to see a heating bill that is $30 to $40 less?

Global warming may be real, but it is far from the “crisis” that some would make it out to be.

I would put it about on par with the “crisis” that was the bird flu or west nile epidemics that keeps failing to materialize. Yes, it might kill you, but its more likely that you’ll be really worried about a slight cough until it goes away in a few days.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Humans are the animals that stress about stress

I often wonder if humans would be better off living simpler lives. Not just the kind of simple life we would lead if we had never invented television or the combustion engine, but rather the kind without medicine or the wheel.

What would it be like if we accepted that people have to die, and stopped using every little microbe as a method of staving of the inevitable encroachment of the Grim Reaper.

What would things be like if we had just our own two feet to get around.

I’ve spent some time at zoos watching monkeys play around, and they seem perfectly content even in a cage.

They also like to throw feces, but different strokes for different species, right?

There are some great things about being a monkey, you get a healthy mostly fruit diet, no one tells you where you can and can’t poop and your friends are only too willing to help you out when you’re infested with nits.

Somehow, I feel like monkeys have less stress than us sapiens. They don’t have jobs, marriages or mortgages. They can almost always find a babysitter even at the last minute.

I’ll bet that there isn’t a single monkey (other than those used to test medication) that has ever developed an ulcer.

I read a study about warring factions of chimps in the wild once, but that’s nothing compared to humans.

The very tool using skills that set us apart from our primate bretheren are our downfall as we constantly turn our genius against each other.

Even when our brains aren’t working to develop more deadly methods of species suicide, we’re developing deadly means of amusement.

Car racing, bungee jumping and lawn darts come immediately to mind, to say nothing of drugs or pretty much anything stamped with ‘product of China.’

Yet another bonus that is readily apparent anytime a person turns on the TV during an election year is that animals do not have politics, and hence no politicians.

In the animal kingdom there are leaders who survive based on their relative merits, and keep position only as long as they can remain fit and strong.

We humans who dwell in the region known as the United States like to pretend we have a similar system, but even when things start to fail, our elected officials continue along with a 70 percent incumbency rate.

Animals also don’t have to worry about the trading of money for goods and services. Life is simple for them. Find food or starve. Find water or dehydrate and die.

As the average life expectancy pushes its way past the 70 year mark, why does no one seem to be asking the fundamental question of ‘how long is long enough?’

In the quick scurry I’ve made though the first couple decades of my life, I haven’t really found a lot of things that make me think 10 extra years are worth a lot of joint pain, daily medication rituals and expensive surgery.

Of course you might be in a different position right now, and I could be as well by the time I reach 60 years old.

It seems sometimes that we really do believe that life is all about buying a bigger house or getting that next $300 bonus from work.

What is life about you ask?

I don’t really know, but I like to think it’s about finding the answer to that question.